just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
