how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize