Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
