My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
