Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
