Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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