you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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