You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
