If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think my fart just growled at me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
