Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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