He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
