is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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