I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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