how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
