Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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