Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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