and she was petting her beer can
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
