You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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