I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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