You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
