Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
