Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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