It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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