Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
