So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
