it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
