Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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