They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
