...so i touched it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
