how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
