Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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