he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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