According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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