Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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