I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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