either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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