i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
