I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
