What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
