She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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