he thought i was a dude.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
