The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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