Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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