In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
