how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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