remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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