i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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