fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
