you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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