He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have fence marks all over my body
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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