all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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