she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
