Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize