I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
