Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
