am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize