I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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