the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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