we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize