i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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