i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
