i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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