I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
